Learning to master your emotions

This is an excerpt from a conversation I had recently that I felt I should share with everyone b/c she spoke on this topic I frequently speak to others about so well. What she says is a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom pg.103-104


Calliope:  I'm learning detachment

me:  detachment?

Calliope:  "To be able to realize the emotion so fully that you can detach from it and realize its true existence , it is not a part of you

Learn to detach...Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent... But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate fully. That's how you are able to leave it... Take any emotion--love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that love entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."

Ultimately I think it all goes back to putting things off out of fear.  The longer you fear it and avoid it the more time you actually spend dwelling in it. It's as simple as that.

HallaH

:n

Till shade is gone,

till water is gone,

into the Shadow with teeth bared,

screaming defiance with the last breath,

to spit in Sightblinder's eye on the Last Day.

-Aiel saying

The Worker...

The things the worker buys with his wages are first of all consumer goods which enable him to survive, to reproduce his labor-power so as to be able to continue selling it; and they are spectacles, objects for passive admiration. He consumes and admires the products of human activity passively.

He does not exist in the world as an active agent who transforms it, but as a helpless, impotent spectator; he may call this state of powerless admiration "happiness," and since labor is painful, he may desire to be "happy," namely inactive, all his life (a condition similar to being born dead).

The commodities, the spectacles, consume him; he uses up living energy in passive admiration; he is consumed by things.

In this sense, the more he has, the less he is.

- Fredy Perlman, The Reproduction of Daily Life

Sum Shit of Life

There are points in it.

These that apply pressure

to numb the heart and stimulate the mind

constantly redefining your freedom

but there are never answers here

no answers...

no solutions on this soluble surface

of solitude and floating minds

tethered down together where emotions combine.

Would it be cowardice or courage to want out?

I find myself looking for an escape from my mindstate, my physical

then awake to a situation that seems much more critical.

-HallaH

They come as they have gone before

Sometimes things seem not meant for birth but through determination we push them out only to discover that they were meant to come through pain of perseverance.
Then there are times when something just cannot be.  When even through the best effort and most profound inspiration it is halted by an unseen hand.  It simply does not fit the weave of the pattern that is existence.

-just some thoughts as I reflect over things that are and things that are not. 

-Hallah

Non Jive Progression

When surrounded by distress, take steps an look around 'til you're surrounded by success.
Stay on the move but don't expect to move mountains, it's more possible for you to move around them.

~Maddix

Ok I can account for my time lost.

I've gone through a lot in the period during my hiatus...before and after...

I said I would account for my time lapse so hear it is.

Before my lapse as I had mentioned...I lost my job and ended up having to move to Greenville as a result.  Shit has been mad tough here but through this experience I have been able to focus on things and see life more clear.  I went through a lot of personal hardships that only helped me to see the urgency in hunting my own personal victory again...renewing my spirit.

So in my hiatus I created a new website

(pic courtesy of Dread Mighty Sine at the Professional Amateur)

I have my album for sale up there...also some other artist website things so go to it...visit...support good hip hop. Do it for your kids lol.

I also obviously pressed up my album and got that out on the market.

  

(album design by Marcus Kiser)

I also jumped into gear on the social networking thing...trying to delve into that pond to make connections and such so get at me on:

I also got back on the horse and started performing again...it felt good to be on stage rocking the crowd again...Ive learned a lot over the years and I see where some things I have picked up can be put to use.  I come back stronger!

(photo by Meesh)

But most importantly, I remembered what was important to me...what was holding me back...what was no good for me..every so often you need to renew your mind...body and relinquish the old bonds you have carried from point A to B.  I got rid of rusty fuel tanks and strapped on new boosters...

-To my  future...and to yours.

You Say You Like Music But...

Yo, when is the last time something good was pushed on you.  I mean Fast food is pushed on you...commercial music is pushed on you...but that stuff is hollow and unhealthy...sometimes lol.  Well when you want to get into some good hip hop old and new and you are tired of using the excuse "I don't know where to find it!"  Look no further than this blog.  He does all the work for you.  All you have to do is discover...

You can find these and more: (click links)  They got everything except my album. lol

2Pac Discography [5]

Ahmad [1]

Beat Junkies [4]

Blackalicious [2]

Blak Forest [1]

B-Real [3]

Brokin English Klik [1]

Capital Tax [1]

Casual [1]

Clever Jeff [1]

Defari [1]

Del the Funky Homosapien [4]

Deltron 3030 [2]

Da Lench Mob [1]

Digital Underground Discography [8]

Dilated Peoples [3]

Extra Prolific [1]

FunkDoobiest [3]

Hieroglyphics [2]

Ice-T [1]

Insane Poetry [2]

Jurassic 5 Discography [4]

Living Legends [2]

LMNO [1]

Mad Kap [1]

Mannish [1]

MC Breed [2]

Mykill Miers [2]

Prince Ali [1]

Ras Kass [1]

Rodney O & Joe Cooley [4]

Saafir [3]

Scarface [2]

Souls of Mischief [1]

Spearhead [1]

Tha Alkaholiks [2]

Tha Mexakinz [3]

The Backyard Rangers [1]

The Coup [1]

The Nonce [2]

The People Under The Stairs [1]

The Pharcyde Discography [4]

Visionaries Discography [4]

Funky DL [4]

Josh Martinez [1]

LoopTroop [3]

Maestro Fresh-Wes [3]

Rascalz [3]

Saïan Supa Crew [2]

Saukrates [1]

Walkin' Large [1]

Whitey Don [1]

Ego Trip 1979-1998

Soundbombing [3]

3rd Bass [2]

3rd Eye [1]

A.D.O.R. [2]

Akbar [1]

Akrobatik [5]

Ali Dee [1]

Anti-Pop Consortium [3]

Apani B [1]

Arrested Development [1]

Arsonists [2]

Artifacts [2]

A Tribe Called Quest Discography [5]

Atmosphere Discography [7]

Audio Two [2]

AZ [4]

Bahamadia [3]

Beastie Boys [8]

Big Daddy Kane [2]

Big L Discography [2]

Big Noyd [1]

Big Punisher [2]

Biggie Smalls Discography [2]

Binary Star [2]

Biz Markie [2]

Black Moon [2]

Black Sheep [2]

Blahzay Blahzay [1]

Boogie Down Productions [5]

Boogiemonsters [2]

Boot Camp Clik [1]

Brand Nubian [4]

Brother Most [1]

Bushwackass [1]

Bustin' Melonz [1]

Camp Lo [1]

Cannibal Ox [4]

Cella Dwellas [1]

Channel Live [1]

Chino XL [3]

Common Sense [5]

Company Flow [1]

Cocoa Brovaz [1]

Craig Mack [2]

Crooklyn Dodgers [3]

Cru [1]

D&D All-Stars [2]

Da Bush Babees [2]

Dagha [2]

Da Grassroots [1]

Da King & I [1]

Dark Sun Riders [1]

Das EFX Discography [5]

Da Youngsta's [4]

De La Soul Discography [9]

Deda & Pete Rock [1]

Diamond D [2]

Diamond Shell [1]

Digable Planets [2]

DITC [1]

Down South [1]

Dred Scott [1]

Edan [3]

Ed O.G. Discography [7]

EPMD Discography [6]

Eric B & Rakim Discography [4]

Fat Joe [3]

Freddie Foxxx [2]

Fu-Schnickens [2]

Gang Starr [7]

Grand Daddy I.U. [2]

Grand Puba [3]

GRAV [1]

Gravediggaz Discography [4]

Group Home [1]

Hard 2 Obtain [1]

Heltah Skeltah [2]

Hoodratz [1]

House of Pain [2]

I.N.I. [1]

Ill Al Skratch [2]

Immortal Technique [3]

J-Live [2]

Jamal [1]

Jeru The Damaja Discography [5]

Jigmastas [3]

Joint Ventures [1]

Juggaknots [2]

Jungle Brothers [4]

Justice System [1]

King Just [1]

King Sun [3]

Kirk [1]

K-Def [1]

K-Otix Discography [4]

K-Solo [2]

Kool G. Rap Discography [8]

Kool Keith [11]

KRS-One Discography [14]

Kurious [1]

Kwest Tha Madd Lad [1]

Large Pro Discography [5]

Leaders of the New School [2]

Lin Que [1]

Lords of the Underground [2]

Lord Finesse Discography [5]

Lost Boyz Discography [4]

Main Source [2]

Masta Ace Discography [5]

MC Lyte Discography [8]

MC Serch [1]

Mesanjarz Of Funk [1]

MF DOOM Discography [64]

Mic Geronimo [1]

Miilkbone [1]

Mobb Deep [3]

Mood [1]

Mos Def [3]

Mystidious Misfitss [1]

NaS Discography [9]

Naughty By Nature Discography [6]

Nine [2]

O.C. [3]

Onyx [2]

Organized Konfusion [3]

Outsidaz [2]

Pacewon [1]

Papa Chuk [1]

Pete Rock & CL Smooth [3]

Phoenix Orion [3]

Poor Righteous Teachers [4]

Prime Minister Pete Nice & Daddy Rich [1]

Private Investigators [1]

Public Enemy Discography [11]

Punk Barbarians [1]

Push Button Objects [1]

RA The Rugged Man [2]

Raw Breed [1]

Real Live [1]

Rottin Razkals [1]

Royal Flush [2]

Rumpletilskinz [1]

Run-D.M.C. Discography [7]

Scientifik [2]

Showbiz and A.G. [5]

Shyheim [3]

Siah & Yeshua DapoED [1]

Sleestack'z [1]

Smif-N-Wessun [1]

Special Ed [3]

Stetsasonic [3]

Street Poets [1]

Talib Kweli [3]

Tela [2]

The A.T.E.E.M [1]

The Beatnuts Discography [12]

The Dynospectrum [1]

The Fugees [2]

The Goats [2]

The High and Mighty [1]

Three Times Dope [3]

Top Quality [1]

Tragedy Khadafi [2]

Trends of Culture [1]

Tucka Da Huntaman [1]

Twista [1]

Ultramagnetic MC's [2]

UMC's [1]

Urban Thermo Dynamics [1]

Wreckx-N-Effect [3]

X-Clan [2]

Y Society [1]

Young Zee [1]

Zhigge [1]

I want this album. Help

It is rare that I can't get my hands on something but this is one of those times. 
TURN OFF THE SIDE MUSIC PLAYER FOR THIS



Someone help a brotha out!

Thoughts and Questions...

Do what u feel u need to do.
Do what u need to feel what u do.

Do u want to feel what u do?
Do u feel a need to do what u do?
Feel what u need to do what u do.
Do what u do to feel what u want.
U need to feel what u do.   
What do u feel u need to do?

-HallaH-

Time Is Of The/No Essence

Special Edition Post:
[photo from]
www.capetownskies.com
















"The fabricated mind relies on time to survive itself.
Transitory phases of many points passing unrealized
through a line of existence until a moment of clarity.
Yes, this is a ray.
It shines projected in one direction
from the source of inspiration towards your soiled self
promoting growth and death simultaneously.
We sit watching this event speaking the false words of time
when the light has always been, just not where we were then
but where we are now.
Where we were waiting for yesterday.
We find comfort in time claiming patience and meticulousness
when what we really seek is one more moment in bed before we rise.
Wake up!
Your life has arisen before you
...and it will set before you know it."

I thought these words...willed them into your mind but I could not will them into your heart. It seems that when the astronaut lets go he realizes that he is as likely to fly as to fall. I thought these things and tried to will them into my life.

and then I received an email from my friend Hanna, who was responding to an email I had sent earlier containing a song I like and some lyrics. That song was "Tensioning" by Sparta. She replied with thanks for the song and a poem she had written back in January. I read it and thought...

"Always waiting for my life to start

Tomorrow never comes to an impatient me

Contemplating on my next mark

not knowing that time is here

Debilitated by my own restrictions

that I condemn so much on every other occasion

Creating a world imprisoning on an

otherwise less imprisoned self

The answers to the questions I seek to not exist

and I am wasting it away on

my opportunity to live."

I thought... "my sentiments exactly."


Peace

Trust is hard...

This is a delicate issue for me as it probably is with many people out there. Because of this I decided to post some quotes on the matter that I feel speak accurately from varying perspectives on the subject. Feel free to add to the list if you have something to add...or not.

"Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again."

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you" -Friedrich Nietzsche

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” -Walter Anderson

“The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry.”

“Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.”

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough” -Frank Crane

“When mistrust comes in, love goes out.”

“The best proof of love is trust.” -Dr. Joyce Brothers

“If you don't have confidence, you'll always find a way not to win”

“Wise men put their trust in ideas and not in circumstances” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement." -Alfred Adler

"Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him." -Booker T. Washington

"A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else." -Cardinal de Retz

"Who would not rather trust and be deceived?" -Eliza Cook

"Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired." -Erik H. Erikson

"A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust." -Nanette Newman

"Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work." -Rita Mae Brown

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust."- Samuel Johnson

"Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity."- Kahlil Gibran

"Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. "- D. Elton Trueblood

Peace

Work In Progress

I've been a lil tight lately because I don't have my equipment here to record. So (this may not be a good idea) I'm gonna just post the lyrics to get it outta my system for now.

In a power play metropolis crippled by it's own darkness
eyes wander, the sky is black, a desolate design
hesitating i step, stagger on metal plates
disintegrated unrecognizable metal shapes lay among the ruins of classical hierarchies
Atlantean Thoth sparked me, a marquee
i shine among fiends, the Allogenes
to walk free and bear the burden of the ronin, number 14
subliminal general, mining mineral minds of iron
and witness the fire on the bird's wings flyin up above
survival casts shadows over love
the game ain't the same through the veins like a drug
most of us that remain may be going insane from the hunger pains,
holocaust strains, nothin to nourish polypeptide chained organic multicell organisms
inshallah seek solutions to destroy a system of rich imitated
just sayin we made it is sick
a truth famine, beggars choosin the bliss
in these last days i examine these culture pathways
tracks blaze through destruction of future consumption


~Peace

I appreciate you checkin this out.

4our a.m. Frustration

When you are trying to create your own path there will not be a road to follow and this can be extremely rough. Sometimes you may feel that what you thought was your destiny is not and what you thought was your road is not. You must push on because even what you may see as failure IS a destiny and even in that, if done right, there is triumph to gain. This is from me to me but maybe you could use it too.

KEEP PUSHING...

Take Back Your Eye

In life there are things you do and things you should not do. The choice between these things is up to you. However, once you have committed to some action being not of you, not right or something that you will not do you enter into a pact with the universe. From this point forward, life will hold you to your word. When you go against this commitment you are punished in some way. You are punished because you made a commitment to yourself and broke that, no matter how valid your reasoning. Sometimes you are punished directly and sometimes the punishment comes in the form of negative feelings that you carry. These negative feelings indirectly create a chain of events that will end with some unhappiness. This too is a form of punishment. Over the last two years I have done many things I had formerly resigned not to do. Call it victim of circumstance or a lapse in self control, either way I have committed small crimes against myself and I have paid for them...some I am still paying for.

Take a moment to review your personal experiences to develop examples for yourself.

I write this in hopes that you can relate because as I write this and you read it I am reclaiming the intent to regain my lost stronghold...my self(the decision to do). I am reclaiming it from circumstances that caused me to lose it, I am reclaiming it from defeats, depressions, recessions, etc. I hope that as you read this you will review what you have lost and resign to reclaim it as well. If you have not lost anything because you haven't gained that ground yet, this is also for you. It is time to make yourself better...a person worthy of being a model to others not because of what you have but because of who you are.

...Hallah

A Divine Wind

In this situation, the exit seems as difficult to maneuver through as the shit you are already in. You look around and know where you should go but feel like making your escape may be the wrong move even though staying in place seems equally hazardous. I have been there. Sometimes I am there again... Sometimes the clear answer is not so clean cut but murky and dim. You then ask yourself...

"How much will it take before I go kamikaze?"

What great variable will the universe place in your life to ensure your all out motivation to act? To take the most drastic measure that will eventually lead to your peace of mind. Whether that action is to stand, to fight, to die or to run.




peace

Shadows.4

"Nothing exists without your dreams." -Cassio
(click image to see full size)

"Baby baby baby, look to the sky. Seeking to find the third eye. Secrets of numbers, secrets of sounds. Secrets of wisdom will be found. Baby baby baby, look to the sky." -Roy Ayers

Third Eye

It is good to only surround yourself with people who inspire you....

Let the others pass...

Peace

Even the illest of thinkers...are only mad decent at best.

*1st thought

It seems that even the illest of thinkers may come against things they struggle to understand.

There is a quote by Jesus (the prophet not the tree hustler) that is one of those things that is perfect on paper and more difficult in practice:

"The world is only a bridge; cross it, build not thy house upon it."

I definitely feel him on this but then there is the pressure...

it comes from around us in this world and it is this pressure that makes it feel necessary to "build your house on the bridge". Group thought is a powerful phenomenon and social trends and paradigms are harder to break than some of us think. most of us adventurous types only break the surface on breaking free. Only the true outcast takes it the full way. It takes a certain level of dedication that makes others question your sanity.

*2nd thought
So what does it mean to want to be successful and what does it mean to want to be great?

Which one do you want for yourself?

Consider this: Success is what one can have on this world and in this time. Greatness is something one has in the next world and throughout time.

To me success is noteriety, wealth and other easily measurable identifiers. Greatness is something immeasurable from close distance...it always takes us more time to realize greatness. Greatness is something measured in lightyears and not minutes. Great is a star exploding and us being able to see it 12 billion years later. Success is achieving a goal or finishing some task that others deem worthy of the attribute "success". Great is an action that is usually recognized much later by those who realize how they have been affected by it. Greatness is a lump of coal that after much pressure, time, and being forgotten can reveal a diamond. I am not saying that these two things don't coincide but one is done for the purpose of reaching "the goal" and the other is done to "achieve the doing" (i think that makes sense) I know which I prefer and I know which feels more necessary to survival.

Which one should you want for yourself?

*interesting point: I wrote this hours before watching this flick Revolutionary Road. When I watched it I saw that it dealt exactly with what I'd just written about. (funny how that happens)*

-Tektite Illah

"It sounds fly in theory but it's hard to apply"

I had this conversation recently with a cat I met not too long ago at the beginning of a funny little experience that ended in me being unemployed (the bad). Out of this situation I learned things and met new friends (the good).


So Jamaal and eye were speakin on how to keep your focus on your goals when the winds are blowing against you (not literally). When things get too rough, sometimes, you can bear down into just "makin it" so hard that you can forget to sleep...you may forget to dream and then you forget to act. Your life force gets drained that way. So I ask myself "how is it that I let momentum slip from me? How did eye lose sight of my action?" I was once a lucid dreamer...but somehow, while still maintaining the dream, I have forgotten my ability to act within it. Have you felt or Do you feel like this?


Dude said something very real that I wanted to share.

He said:
"I am trying to keep the faith and keep the movement moving. I was talking with my girl last night and we were talking about why people don't follow their dreams or begin to follow them and stop. We came to the conclusion that it's because they stop pursuing when things become difficult. But if you can keep the movement moving, things will eventually fall into place." -Jamaal Cowan


some good advice for that dome...


Hallah