Learning to master your emotions

This is an excerpt from a conversation I had recently that I felt I should share with everyone b/c she spoke on this topic I frequently speak to others about so well. What she says is a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom pg.103-104


Calliope:  I'm learning detachment

me:  detachment?

Calliope:  "To be able to realize the emotion so fully that you can detach from it and realize its true existence , it is not a part of you

Learn to detach...Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent... But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate fully. That's how you are able to leave it... Take any emotion--love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that love entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."

Ultimately I think it all goes back to putting things off out of fear.  The longer you fear it and avoid it the more time you actually spend dwelling in it. It's as simple as that.

HallaH

Mean it like you say it

I'm sittin thinkin on how to live life.
my family don't approve of what I'm doin with my mind...
doin with my time...
they don't see the vision I see written in the sky
think I should be resting when the sun sets, settlin for 9 to 5 grinds
I found wings hidden in my rhymes
so I put my back into learnin how to fly
instead of breakin it tryin to survive.
sellin your brains for short change an wonder why
them people don't respect you, the one's you're givin neck to
they know that you're a jewel represented by a fool
so they say they will connect you
to pipelines. sippin from they wealth like a life line draggin you to hell
so I write lines. wealth I'm investing in myself
I'll play stealth til I emerge from the shelf
puttin all my energy to cards that I'm dealt
sleepin on us might just be bad for your health


NDANGR

Now -N- Lata Vicstape coming January 2011
for your free copy join our mailing list HERE
www.reverbnation.com/ndangrspecies

For the Artists

Do not base your success on how well you breach the ignorance of the masses.  That is not success and even if you accomplish this goal to satisfaction, it will not fill you. 

You will never find success unless you know what success is.

~hallah

Lights in the deep and the dark.

The sun shines
creating its own light.
The moon reflects
the light of the sun
in the darkest of times
so the sun may remember that he is bright.

But on the day
when the sun cannot shine
the light of the moon will lay claim to the source.
When the sun
believes in the light of the moon,
the days will grow darker
and the nights much colder.

~the greatest form of ignorance is ignorance of the self.~

On the Threshold of Eternity

On the Threshold of Eternity


(final moments) "A dusty road dissects endless fields of wheat flanked by distant trees. A black bird, startled by the rattling sound of an old paint box, darts into the sky and disappears out of sight. Tall grass and wild flowers sway in the warm breeze that penetrates the bright sunlight of a summer day in the French countryside. The sky is punctuated with wispy clouds that resemble floating brush strokes on a pale blue canvas. At his favorite painting site, Vincent van Gogh quietly sits before a partially finished canvas, dipping and stirring his brush into a rich palette of oils. Today appears not unlike any other day; the morning walk to the fields, painting the landscape before lunch and later capturing the warm afternoon light. However, on this day, Vincent Van Gogh would paint for the last time.

"What lives in art and is eternally living, is first of all the painter, and then the painting."- Van Gogh

It is apparently quite common for writers, musicians, artists, scientists, performers, poets, and other creative talents to suffer from some sort of bipolar disorder and it has even been attributed to their creativity. The natural desire for success and the accompanying plethora of ideas during the state of mania and hypomania have been linked directly to being creative. Some people who suffer from bipolar disorder have mixed states, where they feel depressed and 'blue' but unlike clinical depression one in a mixed state may still feel 'always high'. It is one of the signature characteristics of bipolar disorder. They may have creative energy, racing thoughts, but experience a constant negative feeling as well.

sparked

Sometimes, some things spark thoughts in your mind. With this spark you may be inspired to think, write, speak, etc. However you express this spark it is not directly correlated to the catalyst that sparked it. Usually it becomes a more general expression of ideas. I pay close attention to my surroundings when I feel the resounding vibration of a spark in order to find something special that can relate. In many cases I hear the words of a song ring louder than other times I've listened. As artists are philosophers in a sense, the piece can some times parallel my thought in poetic ways. So read carefully and retrieve a message.

~Radiohead
::There There
~Hail To The Thief

in pitch dark i go walking in your landscape.
broken branches trip me as i speak.
just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean its there.
just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean its there.


There's always a siren
Singing you to shipwreck
(Don't reach out, don't reach out
Don't reach out, don't reach out)
Steer away from these rocks
(Don't reach out, don't reach out
Don't reach out, don't reach out)
just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean its there.
(there's someone on your shoulder)
(there's someone on your shoulder)
just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean its there.
(there's someone on your shoulder)
(there's someone on your shoulder)
There there!


why so green and lonely?
and lonely
and lonely
heaven sent you to me


to me
to me


we are accidents
waiting waiting to happen.


we are accidents
waiting waiting to happen

Updates

Most people probably come to this site to read the words from the mind of Maf Maddix and not because they are necessarily fans of my music.  In fact, if you do come to the site on the strength of my music you were probably disappointed or at least a bit surprised to find it not really about my music or hip hop period.   It's all good right?  Every so often I do come to yall with some music related Maf Maddix shit.  You can call it news or whatever...I just call it an update. 

In the new year I teamed up with my long time homie, Luse Kanz, and we have been doin shows heavily on the East Coast.  Mostly focused in our home state of NC but we also have been and will be hitting other areas like NYC and ATL.  We started like a fist hittin the streets hard and we are opening and expanding ourselves to grasp much more around us now.  It's been a long time coming.and I have met many "important" people along the way that will hopefully be able to play a role in the rise of N'DangR Species, Luse Kanz and Maf Maddix.

On the flipside, I have been working hard with my electronic music production and I am looking to expand and achieve certain goals with that as well.  I tend to play that closer to the chest so for now that is all I have to say. 

I have recently participated in a few mixtapes including a Japanese release that I will have more information about soon as well as Eddie Free's Mad City 2010 project that you can catch on Itunes.  I suggest you check for that not just because it is dope and I'm on it, but also because it is for www.KeepAChildAlive.org.  Alicia Keys is the official ambassador for this organization which provides medications for children in Africa and India living with HIV/AIDS.  check it out at www.madcity2010.com

I am working on a solo mixtape and shopping my current project for label/distribution so that will drop whenever everything is finalized.  Stay tuned. You can preview a couple tracks here.

-HALLAH

Incorruptible Synchronization

The deceit begins as most things do, with a thought. However it becomes more complicated from here. It begins with the rejection of a known truth or the acceptance of it and the subsequent urge to make that undying truth untrue. This cannot be done. The truth cannot be destroyed or unmade. This is where deceit is born. This denial is then projected into the outer world in hopes of creating an unalike facsimile to the fact known internally. At this juncture it becomes a group effort. People who come into contact with deceit are equally at fault for its perpetual growth and habitation. If you tell me something untrue...it IS evident that it is untrue. I must, however, agree to the deceit and to ignore the facts. This is how "you lie to me".  One merely presents another with an argument that "this thing" is more favorable to believe than "that thing (truth)".  Both agree and continue on unless the truth is presented in an undeniable way. If so, the 2nd party claims to have been "lied to". I am not saying that you cannot lie to a person or fool someone...I'm just breaking it down to the basics. It is an agreement in which an informed party convinces an uninformed party of an unwise action.

The mind releases information to the body at such a rapid rate that it is many times hard to catch all of it before you begin to react to it. This means that what is on a person's mind will show in their actions, demeanor, and all sorts of other countless and almost uncontrollable ways. If one were observant enough, one could read these unspoken and unnoticed tell tales like a journal, for they expose all thought and emotion. This brings me to the point...you can only deceive yourself. It is up to everyone else to play your game or not. If you are telling fanciful tales and people are reading something else...they won't believe you- Even If You Believe Yourself. *Remember the lie began with you so you are always the first to believe it.

So that is the problem...

What we seek to achieve is incorruptible synchronization with the mind and the flesh. When your body gives away nothing that your mouth has not spoken or was not intended you have mastered yourself. Until then, never forget that your physical self is your secrets first enemy. If you deny the truths that your face confesses, you are playing with attempts to deceive. It is better to save face and admit.

This came to me today and is very relevant to my life right now and to yours.  It is always relevant and it means something that YOU have read this TODAY.  

~Take it with you on your path to a better self~

On Rhythm

"Everything flows out and in; everything has its tides; all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in everything; the measure of the swing to the right, is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates" -- The Kybalion.

"There is always an action and reaction; an advance and a retreat; a rising and sinking; manifested in all of the airs and phenomena of the Universe. Suns, worlds, men, animals, plants, minerals, forces, energy, mind and matter, yes, even Spirit, manifests this Principle. The Principle manifests in the creation and destruction of worlds; in the rise and fall of nations in the life history of all things; and finally in the mental states of Man."

Whatever...

WHATEVER:  In its slang form, it can be defined as an expression of tacit agreement, indifference, begrudging compliance or even a dismissal.
Isn't that what's wrong with society as a whole?  Tacit(implied) agreement?  Indifference?  Begrudging compliance?  Even hasty dismissal?

How often do you hear people say that to you?  If you hear it  as often as I do then you feel what I feel.  Maybe you don't though.  90% of the time someone says that to me its after I say something to them that is important enough for them to listen.  I detect a wall of pride go up and then I hear this worn out word spoken.  Usually afterward there is a change in the utterers demeanor and language.  So the signs are there.  We can establish that this is the usual case, in my experience.  What about yours?  I am sure that many people see what I see, as it isn't too difficult to deduce.

I see this phrase as being a reflection of the ills in our society at present.  I am sure that people from past generations would have said that it was a problem during their time as well.    I find it disturbing that so many carry that trait from childhood far into adulthood.  The man who can not listen cannot learn from hearing.  The man who can't read will not learn from written words.  The man who can not open himself to learning, can't learn at all.

At this point you will probably think of the most annoying group of people that you don't belong to and agree with me.  Look no further than yourself.  You have been raised in this same society and you, as well as I, suffer from the same ailment in some capacity.

~Hallah

Sum Shit of Life

There are points in it.

These that apply pressure

to numb the heart and stimulate the mind

constantly redefining your freedom

but there are never answers here

no answers...

no solutions on this soluble surface

of solitude and floating minds

tethered down together where emotions combine.

Would it be cowardice or courage to want out?

I find myself looking for an escape from my mindstate, my physical

then awake to a situation that seems much more critical.

-HallaH

Look around you

"When you control a man's thinking you do not have to worry about his actions.  You do not have to tell him not to stand here or go yonder.  He will find his 'proper place' and will stay in it.  You do not need to send him to the back door.  He will go without being told.  In fact, if there is no back door, he will cut one for his special benefit.  His education makes it necessary." -Carter R. Woodson

What does this mean for the freedom of choice you think you have? Look around... If everyone is supposedly different but most are doing the same things, doesn't that tend to suggest some sort of standardization of action and thought?

Find You and then Be You.  Do something different. Do You.

...with all of the wealth our society has attained we will be undone by our ignorances. trading in the pain for the mundane is a shame- the war is coming...the war is here

Heron marked jewels.

At the end of 360 degrees, Winter is a metaphor:  a term not only used to describe the season of ice, but the period of our lives through which we are travelling.  In our hearts we feel that spring is just around the corner:  a spring of brotherhood and united spirits among people of color.  Everyone is moving, searching.  There is a restlessness within our souls that keeps us questioning, discovering and struggling against a system that will not allow us time and space for fresh expression.  Western iceman have attempted to distort time.  Extra months on the calendar and daylight saved what was eastern standard.  We approach winter the most depressing period in the history of this industrial empire, with threats of oil shortages and energy crises.  But we, as Black People, have been a source of endless energy, endless beauty and endless determination.  I have many things to tell you about tommorrow's love and light.  We will see you in the spring. In the interest of national security, please help us carry out our constitutional duty to overthrow the king.

~Gil Scott-Heron

Innertainment

"To the untrained ear,some music may sound like the babble of noise.To an uneducated eye,a masterpiece of art may look like whimsical strokes of the painter's brush." -Paramahansa Yogananda

 Only a complex mind can enjoy, understand and appreciate ideas in whatever form they manifest. The simpleton is impressed with the simple things because they are simple. The higher level thinker may expose the complexities of something that others see as simple. Do not be fooled into thinking that anything means nothing. In reality everything has meaning, everything has both cause and effect. We must take responsibility and acknowledge this "simple" truth. At the same time, the complex thinker may feel bombarded with simple minds and their thinking. You must not let this disrupt your harmony. Even a complex mind may lack wisdom. The wise can appreciate what they see while understanding that others may not see the same. "The lips of wisdom are open only to the ears of understanding." Therefore, you can not force wisdom on another. Wisdom is every beings personal journey.

-The things that you enjoy reflect who you are in every way but maybe not in the way you think they do.-

More is less.

"The things the worker buys with his wages are first of all consumer goods which enable him to survive, to reproduce his labor-power so as to be able to continue selling it; & they are spectacles, objects for passive admiration. He consumes & admires the products of human activity passively.


He does not exist in the world as an active agent who transforms it, but as a helpless, impotent spectator; he may call this state of powerless admiration "happiness," & since labor is painful, he may desire to be "happy," namely inactive, all his life (a condition similar to being born dead).


The commodities, the spectacles, consume him; he uses up living energy in passive admiration; he is consumed by things.


In this sense, the more he has, the less he is."


- Fredy Perlman, The Reproduction of Daily Life

The Grocery Store

It's like going to the grocery store on an empty stomach. Suddenly you want things that under normal circumstances you wouldn't want. You find things appetizing that you normally would not. Your are pushed to this point where animalistic survival seems to overwhelm your higher thoughts of selectiveness and judgement.


This is life and all things in it.  We all have our list of things that make us happy. It starts from basic needs that all humans share and then grows when you factor in the needs of a particular personality. When you lack something in any certain aspect of your life you have a hole. You begin to try and fill it. Because most people do not analyze their own thoughts feelings and actions thoroughly, we end up trying to fill this hole of dissatisfaction with the wrong things. (ex. trying to fill the "security" or "love" space with sex). We have to try and remember what it is we are here for even though we are hungry and just want something to eat.

So...


before you go to the "store"...make sure you have a list of what you need and make sure you eat something first.

Non Jive Progression

When surrounded by distress, take steps an look around 'til you're surrounded by success.
Stay on the move but don't expect to move mountains, it's more possible for you to move around them.

~Maddix

"X" Marks the spot.

Some people in my life including old friends and family may wonder what I am thinking or why I choose to live my life in the way that I do...making the decisions I do and valuing the things that I do.

There is a clear and concise reason for me.

I am a very conscious observer of my own life and the way the universe affects it.  Over the years I have seen proof that the Universe wants me to stand on a perverbial "X" on the ground.  I do not know what I am waiting for or why I must stand here.  What I do know is that throughout my life both certain achievements and certain misfortunes have been blocked from reaching me by powers beyond my control.  In my life I have felt guided as if by some unseen hand to do certain things and to walk in a certain direction.  I recognize, and have so for many years, that this place I find myself in has been a constant since childhood.  I am here and I wait confidently for whatever is meant to come.  I will not move from this place I am in and I will not allow social, religious, political, cultural, or any other form of pressure move me from where I am.  I will continue to work hard on the tasks the universe sets before me as well as ignoring the ones that are not placed before me.  I feel very confident in this...even if it is delusion, I have chosen mine.

Tektite Illah

What You Know aka have been told.

Amazing video that sparked thought.  Watch.




~Hallah

Some things to look at in the mirror.

Think back on the true friends you have.  How many of them "offered" friendship and how many just evolved into it?  I find that people generally do not expect their own future.  By this I mean that those who offer friendship are usually seeking something else while the people who simply evolve into your friend did not see it coming.


I am very mindful when I meet a new person but even I do not often expect the buds that will one day become a great friendship.  Some of the best friends I have began in an unlikely place.  These friendships usually began with people who cared as little about making a new friend as I did.  When I look back on the birth with a now old friend, we often remark on how random our friendship is...or the odd circumstances that initiated it.


The dirty dirty...


I believe that relationships are reactive...COMPLETELY REACTIVE.
-This means that a relationship whether friendship or otherwise is not something that can elude you.  People are in no short supply...and being that we live in a world of general free will (when it comes to relationships) if you find it hard to make friends or find it hard to meet a good man/woman, that is mostly your own fault.  People are as varied as the stars in the sky and just as similar.  They are there and, like everything in the universe, they are attracted to what compels them.  "Water seeks it's own level"

In short:
-don't trust people who try to sell you friendship.
-your friends are and will remain a reflection of you.