People live life as if they are jumping from one building to another.  It takes them so long to actually move forward because they are afraid of the time in between having their feet on the ground.

People's tastes are this way as well...people tend to be afraid to pursue something they like because they are afraid of stepping out there and maybe doin somethin different.

Similitude feels so safe...

Get out there and pursue things you like once you have been put on to it.  What are you waiting for?

I always let people hear music and it is funny to me how the ones who generally listen to commercial shit talk about how it's dumb and how they don't listen to anything but the beat.  I let them hear some real shit and they love it BUT...they never go get it for themselves...I have to keep feeding it to them and this goes for every genre.

Why is that?

all the answers I can think of just sound like excuses.  Get into that shit you thought was ill when you heard/saw it.

[with that being said]


~Get it in.


Faker Than Fishicken

-"No disrespect but...[insert disrespectful comment]"

-"I don't mean to be negative but...[insert negative comment]"

As many of you probably have, I often wonder why people make these type of contradictory statements.  Statements like these seem to be engrained in the culture and they are there for the purpose of making allowances for lack of personal integrity.  Let me explain how I think this works:

-A person has ideas of what is right and acceptable.
-A person has ideas of what they want to do/say.
-A person often finds that what they want to do/say is not congruent to what is right and acceptable to them.

Now there is a dilemma...b/c the desire to do the right thing is in minority to the desire to do what one wants EVEN THOUGH the guilt associated with not doing the right thing is far greater

The general solution to this is to, as I call it, "speak right and walk left."

-A person says "No disrespect" in order to let all within earshot know that no disrespect is the right and acceptable thing to do. In a way it is the setting of a character buffer for the wrong thing they are about to do.
 -A person then adds "but" which is the transition between what they should do and what they will do.
-Here is where the disrespectful comment or action is taken...the road most traveled.
-A person feels absolved of having to actually do the right thing b/c they have let everyone know that they know what they should do.  People don't notice if you really do the right thing...just that you know it.  you can get by on that.  ie: you learn math in school only to use a calculator/computer for all of your mathematical needs.  *good enough

I'm not on some monk stuff where I wouldn't do something wrong and I definitely have no problems saying something disrespectful.  I just feel like people should be straight up.  If I'm gonna do you dirty I'm not gonna preface it with a fake ass statement.  That shows weakness and lack of confidence in your actions. Tighten Up.



A feeling of discouragement when you slip up

by Ibn Ata' Illah (1250-1309)
English version by
Victor Danner

Original Language

A feeling of discouragement when you slip up
     is a sure sign that you put your faith in deeds.

Your desire to withdraw from everything
     when Allah has involved you in the world of means
          is a hidden appetite.

Your desire for involvement with the world of means
     when Allah has withdrawn you from it
          is a fall from high aspiration.

Aspiration which rushes on ahead
cannot break through the walls of destiny.

Give yourself a rest from managing!
     When Someone Else is doing it for you,
          don't you start doing it for yourself!

from Ibn 'Ata' Illah the Book of Wisdom/Kwaja Abdullah Ansari Intimate Conversations, Translated by Victor Danner / Translated by Wheeler M. Thackston


Tektite Illah aka Maf Maddix


Wolf Cub

I rarely post music from other artists on my page because well it is MY blog and it is hard enough sellin my own records without doin pub for someone else...but I do get tempted.  In this case I can't resist.
I like tryin to put my readers on to soemthing they may not automatically associate with me or something they haven't heard of at all. 

This cat Burial is one of my favorite artists of ANY genre out right now.  I can listen to his music and get inspired to create myself.  I love that.  I love that he teamed up with Four Tet for this track.  It is in heavy rotation at my house so I wanted to share it with you guys.




Nazca Lines...

Looking for hidden messages in the sands of Peru
I stood between pivotal points on a line and looked up
When my focus reached the sky's zenith, I felt propelled through the stratosphere
to a place where there was no fear...
I saw myself in a thought within a dream
past present and future existing as one within the same bubble
I heard a voice speak to me from everywhere and nowhere
It said nothing
nothing that I could translate
but something that I could feel

This all happened in another reality
one some would call a dream
when I awoke I could feel something coming
something unseen
so I placed the experience in a box in my mind and put it away
none of this is real

I wrote to Digital and told him my thoughts about his beats and that we should do a project
he agreed because he and I were on the same wavelength speakin the same degrees
I began to recieve transmissions from Digital in the form of beats

Nazca Lines came to mind
so I began working...

It will be a meteor crashing into the surface of the planet...

here is a slight hint of what is coming...

Splatter Dagger Remix - D-Digital
...and for the uninitiated, the original.

Splatter Dagger - Maf Maddix

-Until next time...


The Battle of Shadows and Hawks

This is for the fellas:

You meet a girl...you are kinda diggin her and so you begin to talk to her...feel her out...see if she is diggin you etc etc etc.

This is where it gets tricky.

For every known guy trying to talk to this lady there are normally 2 unknowns. (here represented by 2x)

So if you = A and each guy you know of that is on the same path is represented by a consecutive letter then:

A + 0= 2x because you are one known

A + B= 4x

and so on...(with exceptions)

This is the battle of the shadows and hawks.  The shadows are for the unknowns and the paranoia that is fuckin with your head and the hawks are the ones who are really swooping in for u.  lol shit is funny to me but...

Sucks for you because I was never good at math so I tend to forget this formula most times and have an unrealistic or realistic(?) lack of urgency which generally works for me.  You win some, you lose some...it's almost all the same but SOMETIMES...The equation comes crashing back and I feel like im in the battle again.  Then I remember...that tomorrow is much like today for the next day and I just say...

-Fuck it

(i'm just talkin shit an there is probably little truth to it...right?)


Freedom is the rock AND the hard place

Yo I was buildin with my uncle the other day an he said something that I thought was ill. He said basically said that there are 2 types of freedom in the world: Freedom To... and Freedom From...

Even though it was a real basic conversation about things we do and don't have in the U.S., my mind of course started building upon this idea of the difference between the freedoms. I strung together several thoughts (as follows)

What is the Freedom To?
      -basically the freedom To do things...in America we have this kind of freedom.  We have all these freedoms To do things but thats part of what makes the U.S. bad.  That is also what makes the U.S. great.

What is Freedom From?
     -the freedom from is something that some people in other countries enjoy...the freedom from all of the bullshit we have to deal with in the U.S. due to all those freedoms.  It is what makes those countries great and also makes them bad.

Which, if either, is better?
     -you choose.

How does one choose?
     -you have always known your answer.

I concluded that every person aligns themselves and feels more comfortable with one of the 2 freedoms.  They stand by them and it causes them to be happy in their society or unhappy.

Coincidentally this uncle just lost his freedom again... But with the drugs...was he ever really free?

Think about that...


Ok I can account for my time lost.

I've gone through a lot in the period during my hiatus...before and after...

I said I would account for my time lapse so hear it is.

Before my lapse as I had mentioned...I lost my job and ended up having to move to Greenville as a result.  Shit has been mad tough here but through this experience I have been able to focus on things and see life more clear.  I went through a lot of personal hardships that only helped me to see the urgency in hunting my own personal victory again...renewing my spirit.

So in my hiatus I created a new website

(pic courtesy of Dread Mighty Sine at the Professional Amateur)

I have my album for sale up there...also some other artist website things so go to it...visit...support good hip hop. Do it for your kids lol.

I also obviously pressed up my album and got that out on the market.
(album design by Marcus Kiser)

I also jumped into gear on the social networking thing...trying to delve into that pond to make connections and such so get at me on:

I also got back on the horse and started performing again...it felt good to be on stage rocking the crowd again...Ive learned a lot over the years and I see where some things I have picked up can be put to use.  I come back stronger!

(photo by Meesh)

But most importantly, I remembered what was important to me...what was holding me back...what was no good for me..every so often you need to renew your mind...body and relinquish the old bonds you have carried from point A to B.  I got rid of rusty fuel tanks and strapped on new boosters...

-To my  future...and to yours.


White girls...why?


I'm in wal-mart last week after picking up my homeboy from work... I'm wearing some regular blue jeans and a grey hanes t-shirt...nothin crazy, just a regular fucking shirt.  My friend is wearing a red polo and khakis.

We are walking through the electronic section going towards the food section to pick up some Simply Lemonade.  When we are approached by two red faced, uneasy looking white girls.  They are wearing workout gear...hoodies an such.  So the bird in front of me begins to speak and the convo goes like this:

White bird:  Hey! uhm can I ask you something?

Me: (smiling) yea sure, what's up?

WB:  Do you know where the tall tees are? (nervous giggle)

Me: (silence) (face slowly fading from a smile to a frown)

WB:  (nervous giggles increase) (looks to her friend for support) (friend looks at me)

Me: Nah.(wtf face)

*this is where we begin to walk away*

As we leave the 2 girls are looking back embarassed and one says to the other "see, now they are laughing at us." My homie says "Why the FUCK do we have to know where the tall tees are!"  I respond, "Does Wal-mart even MAKE tall tees?  Does anyone still make tall tees?  To which my homie replies in a slightly lower voice"Actually, they do make them...I saw them while I was looking for V-necks once."

I tried to imagine something i could have said that was equally as offensive in response but I couldn't think of anything at the time...still can't actually.  What kind of stereotypical product do they sell in wal-mart that applies to white girls?  I have no fucking clue.




I hear people using the word "love" a lot when it comes to other people.  Most of the time I feel pretty certain that they are using it incorrectly.  I hear people ask "what is love?" or searching for it.  I see a lack of definition and therefore understanding of this concept.

I have my own theories...

Here is a brief and general breakdown of how I define this thing we call love...true love:

First I would say that there is only 1 true form of love.  Everything else we feel is varying degrees of "Like".  The ones we call "love" are the feelings that give off a feeling that aesthetically resembles true love.  Kind of like there is a diamondback rattle snake then there is another snake that looks just like a diamondback except it isnt...just an imitation.  Agreed?

Second I would say that Love is the closet thing to knowing The All (God/The Creator/Allah/The Universe etc...) I will use the term "The ALL" because it is the most descriptive of what this being/phenomenon would be.
I say this because...The ALL is everything and everything is in The ALL.  The ALL is 1 with everything that exists.* (this is key).  Agreed?

Third point is that since The ALL is everything...The ALL would never do something to you or anyone that The ALL wouldn't do to itself.  Why?  Well because since The ALL is 1 with you and everything...any bad or good that you experience is also an experience of The ALL.  Agreed?

Fourthly, Even with all of this in mind we can say and believe that The ALL loves it's creations.  Agreed?
"even the idea of "love" is a part of The ALL"

Fifth, people and animals and everything in the world is connected.  We are all 1.  I could explain but I think this concept is pretty simple.  Agreed?

Sixth...We do not see ourselves as 1...we see ourselves as individuals. But technically this is false...because how can we truly be separate if we are all one...or if we are all within The ALL and The ALL is 1 with everything.  I know you are probably doubting right now but stick with me.  Ok, it is a fact that reality is mostly perception of the mind projected outwardly.  What this means is that what we believe the world really is is not all true.  I may have lost some of you here but for the rest...Agreed?

So what is love?  Do unto others...

Think of a mother and her child...they are 1 and she knows it.  She can feel it.  (not counting the crazy ones) She would not do anything to her child that she wouldn't do to herself.  This is love.

When you cease to see someone as being separate from you and begin to see them as 1 with you...that is love.



I GOT SHOT...again

My friend Jasiatic shot me after I cut my hair over the last week.  I really enjoyed my time up in charlotte visiting family and friends.  Her work is great...check her out at:


isupport the children's growth.

This is gonna be a crazy joint!!!

When I return after this weekend I got new posts...new info and more info for you.  

My time away has not been in vain.



You Say You Like Music But...

Yo, when is the last time something good was pushed on you.  I mean Fast food is pushed on you...commercial music is pushed on you...but that stuff is hollow and unhealthy...sometimes lol.  Well when you want to get into some good hip hop old and new and you are tired of using the excuse "I don't know where to find it!"  Look no further than this blog.  He does all the work for you.  All you have to do is discover...

You can find these and more: (click links)  They got everything except my album. lol

2Pac Discography [5]

Ahmad [1]

Beat Junkies [4]

Blackalicious [2]

Blak Forest [1]

B-Real [3]

Brokin English Klik [1]

Capital Tax [1]

Casual [1]

Clever Jeff [1]

Defari [1]

Del the Funky Homosapien [4]

Deltron 3030 [2]

Da Lench Mob [1]

Digital Underground Discography [8]

Dilated Peoples [3]

Extra Prolific [1]

FunkDoobiest [3]

Hieroglyphics [2]

Ice-T [1]

Insane Poetry [2]

Jurassic 5 Discography [4]

Living Legends [2]

LMNO [1]

Mad Kap [1]

Mannish [1]

MC Breed [2]

Mykill Miers [2]

Prince Ali [1]

Ras Kass [1]

Rodney O & Joe Cooley [4]

Saafir [3]

Scarface [2]

Souls of Mischief [1]

Spearhead [1]

Tha Alkaholiks [2]

Tha Mexakinz [3]

The Backyard Rangers [1]

The Coup [1]

The Nonce [2]

The People Under The Stairs [1]

The Pharcyde Discography [4]

Visionaries Discography [4]

Funky DL [4]

Josh Martinez [1]

LoopTroop [3]

Maestro Fresh-Wes [3]

Rascalz [3]

Saïan Supa Crew [2]

Saukrates [1]

Walkin' Large [1]

Whitey Don [1]

Ego Trip 1979-1998

Soundbombing [3]

3rd Bass [2]

3rd Eye [1]

A.D.O.R. [2]

Akbar [1]

Akrobatik [5]

Ali Dee [1]

Anti-Pop Consortium [3]

Apani B [1]

Arrested Development [1]

Arsonists [2]

Artifacts [2]

A Tribe Called Quest Discography [5]

Atmosphere Discography [7]

Audio Two [2]

AZ [4]

Bahamadia [3]

Beastie Boys [8]

Big Daddy Kane [2]

Big L Discography [2]

Big Noyd [1]

Big Punisher [2]

Biggie Smalls Discography [2]

Binary Star [2]

Biz Markie [2]

Black Moon [2]

Black Sheep [2]

Blahzay Blahzay [1]

Boogie Down Productions [5]

Boogiemonsters [2]

Boot Camp Clik [1]

Brand Nubian [4]

Brother Most [1]

Bushwackass [1]

Bustin' Melonz [1]

Camp Lo [1]

Cannibal Ox [4]

Cella Dwellas [1]

Channel Live [1]

Chino XL [3]

Common Sense [5]

Company Flow [1]

Cocoa Brovaz [1]

Craig Mack [2]

Crooklyn Dodgers [3]

Cru [1]

D&D All-Stars [2]

Da Bush Babees [2]

Dagha [2]

Da Grassroots [1]

Da King & I [1]

Dark Sun Riders [1]

Das EFX Discography [5]

Da Youngsta's [4]

De La Soul Discography [9]

Deda & Pete Rock [1]

Diamond D [2]

Diamond Shell [1]

Digable Planets [2]

DITC [1]

Down South [1]

Dred Scott [1]

Edan [3]

Ed O.G. Discography [7]

EPMD Discography [6]

Eric B & Rakim Discography [4]

Fat Joe [3]

Freddie Foxxx [2]

Fu-Schnickens [2]

Gang Starr [7]

Grand Daddy I.U. [2]

Grand Puba [3]

GRAV [1]

Gravediggaz Discography [4]

Group Home [1]

Hard 2 Obtain [1]

Heltah Skeltah [2]

Hoodratz [1]

House of Pain [2]

I.N.I. [1]

Ill Al Skratch [2]

Immortal Technique [3]

J-Live [2]

Jamal [1]

Jeru The Damaja Discography [5]

Jigmastas [3]

Joint Ventures [1]

Juggaknots [2]

Jungle Brothers [4]

Justice System [1]

King Just [1]

King Sun [3]

Kirk [1]

K-Def [1]

K-Otix Discography [4]

K-Solo [2]

Kool G. Rap Discography [8]

Kool Keith [11]

KRS-One Discography [14]

Kurious [1]

Kwest Tha Madd Lad [1]

Large Pro Discography [5]

Leaders of the New School [2]

Lin Que [1]

Lords of the Underground [2]

Lord Finesse Discography [5]

Lost Boyz Discography [4]

Main Source [2]

Masta Ace Discography [5]

MC Lyte Discography [8]

MC Serch [1]

Mesanjarz Of Funk [1]

MF DOOM Discography [64]

Mic Geronimo [1]

Miilkbone [1]

Mobb Deep [3]

Mood [1]

Mos Def [3]

Mystidious Misfitss [1]

NaS Discography [9]

Naughty By Nature Discography [6]

Nine [2]

O.C. [3]

Onyx [2]

Organized Konfusion [3]

Outsidaz [2]

Pacewon [1]

Papa Chuk [1]

Pete Rock & CL Smooth [3]

Phoenix Orion [3]

Poor Righteous Teachers [4]

Prime Minister Pete Nice & Daddy Rich [1]

Private Investigators [1]

Public Enemy Discography [11]

Punk Barbarians [1]

Push Button Objects [1]

RA The Rugged Man [2]

Raw Breed [1]

Real Live [1]

Rottin Razkals [1]

Royal Flush [2]

Rumpletilskinz [1]

Run-D.M.C. Discography [7]

Scientifik [2]

Showbiz and A.G. [5]

Shyheim [3]

Siah & Yeshua DapoED [1]

Sleestack'z [1]

Smif-N-Wessun [1]

Special Ed [3]

Stetsasonic [3]

Street Poets [1]

Talib Kweli [3]

Tela [2]

The A.T.E.E.M [1]

The Beatnuts Discography [12]

The Dynospectrum [1]

The Fugees [2]

The Goats [2]

The High and Mighty [1]

Three Times Dope [3]

Top Quality [1]

Tragedy Khadafi [2]

Trends of Culture [1]

Tucka Da Huntaman [1]

Twista [1]

Ultramagnetic MC's [2]

UMC's [1]

Urban Thermo Dynamics [1]

Wreckx-N-Effect [3]

X-Clan [2]

Y Society [1]

Young Zee [1]

Zhigge [1]


I want this album. Help

It is rare that I can't get my hands on something but this is one of those times. 

Someone help a brotha out!


Don't Sleep On The 312

So anyone that reads my blog knows that I keep it real.  You also know that I don't do random publicity unless it is something that I am definitely willing to stand behind.  I do however present some sounds other than my own that I believe in. I'm about to put you on to someone I guarantee you are sleepin on right now.  My homie GRIFFEN has produced an album that is a definite must listen! (don't worry...ima tell you why straight an uncut)

"Add it up Einstein, you played the shit 9 times/ DJs without crates poison the pipelines/ My crime is havin a brain/ the shit that's gettin through ain't the only 4 songs that I wanna listen to." -Griffen (Remnants)

This album Purpill Paradise is a beast.  When I listed to it I was skeptical as always because I was hesitant if he could pull off what to me seemed like a lofty goal.  The homie Came THRU! 

Purpill Paradise is a collaboration of sorts with producer Bionix, Sade, and Prince!!!  23 tracks on the album that capture the 80's sounds of Prince and Sade perfectly.  Perfectly sampled and arranged so it feels flawless.  GRIFFEN's rhymes are on point nearly all the way through the album.  He makes you move like it was 1988 on the party tracks and when he tells a story...that is where he really shines.  Lyrics are relevant and fun, sharp and smooth.  You get all kinds of angles on this album.  Theme albums are often hit or miss.  With live appearances by emcees like Aceyalone this is a hit. A cohesive and   replay worthy album.  I guarantee it is something that both male and female hip hop listeners can appreciate. Check the dude out.  It won't hurt to peep it..



Thoughts and Questions...

Do what u feel u need to do.
Do what u need to feel what u do.
Do u want to feel what u do?
Do u feel a need to do what u do?
Feel what u need to do what u do.
Do what u do to feel what u want.
U need to feel what u do.   
What do u feel u need to do?



The Mt. Olympus of Rap

I was having a convo with a colleague of mine, Manov War, the other day and he was expressing his feelings of expectation and hope about New York school of hip hop regaining prominence through the direction of a few key players dropping overwhelmingly better material than their currently major exposure counterparts from other schools (namely, southern rappers).  When you consider the work of these individuals and the dynamic of Hip Hop today it runs like this:

Gods were established/discovered in the 90's.  These gods decended to earth and revealed or claimed their existence and dominance to the world or mortals.  The gods fell silent in the age of man.  mortal emcees who's work perishes in their own lifetime took the spotlight.  However, every so often a god returns to show us that it is still here.

No matter how you feel about Raekwon, Jay-z, Prodigy, Nas, Ghostface, etc's..album.  whether you think the album isn't as good as their 1st or 2nd or whatever...you cannot deny that their albums are of a higher lyrical quality than that of your run of the mill bullshit rapper...more refined skill than your dummyhead NYmixtape/ringtone/club music/dopeboy rapper or pseudo-rapsinger.



Be Clear...

You ever wanna write about something and realize that it is such a complex subject with so many important and intricate details that you can't even begin to take it on? That is how I feel sometimes.  Some things need a book or a volume of books to explain.  Too big for blogs you know? With that said...I will drop the thought seed on you to think about.

Just because you are a nice person...

...does not mean you are a good person.

"It takes a little more to be a champion."



Take your Medicine

There is a movie I used to like when I was a kid by the name of Young Guns II.  In the movie there is a teenage bandit who starts running with Billie "The Kid"'s gang and there is a posse hot on their trails.  Eventually, Billie and his gang make a narrow escape through the New Mexico countryside and in the process this young bandit is shot.  He lays on the ground bleeding as hired killer Pat Garrett and his posse approach.  They discover that it was this young teen they had shot instead of Billie "The Kid".  As they stood over the young cowboy and he took his final breaths, Pat Garrett's 2nd in command says "Take your medicine, kid."  

In life we all have hard decisions to make.  The universe does not stop to wait for us to agree with its progression, it just moves.  So here is the thing...you know when you are in one of those situations where you know you shoulda went right instead of going left?  Or one of those situations where you have a hard decision that you procrastinate on making until the last moment?  Those are "Take Your Medicine" situations.  Those are the moments when you have to just suck it up and take what comes and accept responsibility for your own mistakes. Those are the situations where if you just suck it up and acknowledge what really happened, you stand to learn a lot from them and be better off later.

I sometimes get myself in those situations...it sucks when you realize it...even worse when the decision is made for you and you are stuck feeling forced into or out of something.
Take your fucking medicine!  


 ~peaces & pickups


Speed Kills...

Sometimes, on your life journey, you must stop for a moment and look around you to assess your environment, your actions thus far and your plan of action for the future. In these moments it is good to be quiet and simply look and take it all in. When you feel that you have taken it all in...you move on.

This will be my first short break from this blogging business to re-examine things around me and within me. To think without speaking. Just a very brief break. Maybe a week or so...Hopefully I will have more updates on my work and less random thoughts when I return. The title of this post comes from one of my favorite Gil Scott-Heron/Brian Jackson songs.
~Maf Maddix (Allogenes)


Same as it ever was...

This song came out when I was a senior in High School. Lyrics like these helped to shape my value system when it comes to hip hop. When dudes you respect let you know the deal in lyric...it allows you to measure yourself against the views expressed in the lyrics. I found these words to be true and therefore resolved to never be "that guy".

These words are as true today as they were then.



Consider this a preview

~All that we are is but a preview to what we will be, individually and as a collective. on a small scale what you did yesterday was a preview to who you are today. On a grand scale who you are in this life is a preview of what you will be in the next. Only the things you can take with you can be measured in this way so your style, money, sex appeal, influence, etc. are worthless in time. It is your wisdom that you will carry along with you into the supposed next life. Even if you do not believe in any form of afterlife/reincarnation. The memory and legacy you leave will be most assisted by the intelligence and wisdom you show in life. ~

Whether I am falling up or falling down, who I am is what is most important.

[captured by] e

footnote: even when making mistakes it is possible to show exemplary nature.


Kan Kicks rhymes an beats mad-nificent

This cat from the West Coast named Kan Kick has been making dope music for a while an it hasn't stopped. Many of you hip hop heads may have missed him over the years but he was on the Lootpack's Lost Tapes album. Check the message in the music.



Time Is Of The/No Essence

Special Edition Post:
[photo from]

"The fabricated mind relies on time to survive itself.
Transitory phases of many points passing unrealized
through a line of existence until a moment of clarity.
Yes, this is a ray.
It shines projected in one direction
from the source of inspiration towards your soiled self
promoting growth and death simultaneously.
We sit watching this event speaking the false words of time
when the light has always been, just not where we were then
but where we are now.
Where we were waiting for yesterday.
We find comfort in time claiming patience and meticulousness
when what we really seek is one more moment in bed before we rise.
Wake up!
Your life has arisen before you
...and it will set before you know it."

I thought these words...willed them into your mind but I could not will them into your heart. It seems that when the astronaut lets go he realizes that he is as likely to fly as to fall. I thought these things and tried to will them into my life.

and then I received an email from my friend Hanna, who was responding to an email I had sent earlier containing a song I like and some lyrics. That song was "Tensioning" by Sparta. She replied with thanks for the song and a poem she had written back in January. I read it and thought...

"Always waiting for my life to start
Tomorrow never comes to an impatient me
Contemplating on my next mark
not knowing that time is here
Debilitated by my own restrictions
that I condemn so much on every other occasion
Creating a world imprisoning on an
otherwise less imprisoned self
The answers to the questions I seek to not exist
and I am wasting it away on
my opportunity to live."

I thought... "my sentiments exactly."



The Key To Relationships

There is a key to building a relationship. This key applies especially to those in the position of power and leadership ie: parents, government, employers. As we all know, every goal comes with responsibility. When it is your goal to create a relationship with someone, especially a subordinate, there is one thing that can make or break that relationship. You must value that person. By this I mean, you must value them as they value themselves. You can not place the weight of value on things that they do not themselves put weight on. If you do this, they will cease to value you/never begin to value you and you will have a disfunctional relationship.

This is especially important for family. If you are a parent you must figure out what things interest your child, what things do they find self worth through, what things do they value in themselves and their goals. You must then LEARN to value these things in them. It does not mean you have to like the things or get into it or become an authority on them. You must just express the fact that you recognize and value your childs achievements in an area that they value.

If you do this you will show the other person that you recognize, respect and value in them and their life what they recognize as important to them. When done they will in turn feel respected and valued and will put forth their best effort for you and towards you (normally). Sometimes, however, there is a person who is just on some other shit and they won't return the favor. Let them fall to the wayside...

...building mad decent relationships


Trust is hard...

This is a delicate issue for me as it probably is with many people out there. Because of this I decided to post some quotes on the matter that I feel speak accurately from varying perspectives on the subject. Feel free to add to the list if you have something to add...or not.

"Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again."

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you" -Friedrich Nietzsche

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” -Walter Anderson

“The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry.”

“Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.”

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough” -Frank Crane

“When mistrust comes in, love goes out.”

“The best proof of love is trust.” -Dr. Joyce Brothers

“If you don't have confidence, you'll always find a way not to win”

“Wise men put their trust in ideas and not in circumstances” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement." -Alfred Adler

"Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him." -Booker T. Washington

"A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else." -Cardinal de Retz

"Who would not rather trust and be deceived?" -Eliza Cook

"Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired." -Erik H. Erikson

"A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust." -Nanette Newman

"Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work." -Rita Mae Brown

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust."- Samuel Johnson

"Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity."- Kahlil Gibran

"Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. "- D. Elton Trueblood



Lackluster business

I gotta say that I agree wholeheartedly with what my homies Red an Meth are sayin over there. Tighten up on that greed bullshit.



Free Coals!

"We touched down in turmoil.
King, take off your crown on the ground
where the enemy is all around but unfound.
...this is the jewel for survival.
Humility is a tool where pedestals can be the death of you."

...just a short rhyme I wrote randomly. I like description in my rhymes.
In this one I was thinking about the themes and visuals from My homie Marcus Kiser's Invisible Soldier book. I was imagining a king and his royal guards landing in enemy territory. I was imagining what the chief bodygaurd would say to the king as they landed and proceeded to exit the aircraft. Then I figured I might relate it to real life in the form of a lesson. This is my rhyme style...a lump of coal in today's rap game. We will let it stay under pressure for a while longer and see what happens.


Keeping your minds introspective

Introspective Minds is a hip hop collective that originated as a beat crew in ATL and eventually expanded it's wings to include a few emcees(myself included).

The production crew dropped a beat tape recently that is very very decent. Check it out right here and download it if you feelin it.


Work In Progress

I've been a lil tight lately because I don't have my equipment here to record. So (this may not be a good idea) I'm gonna just post the lyrics to get it outta my system for now.

In a power play metropolis crippled by it's own darkness
eyes wander, the sky is black, a desolate design
hesitating i step, stagger on metal plates
disintegrated unrecognizable metal shapes lay among the ruins of classical hierarchies
Atlantean Thoth sparked me, a marquee
i shine among fiends, the Allogenes
to walk free and bear the burden of the ronin, number 14
subliminal general, mining mineral minds of iron
and witness the fire on the bird's wings flyin up above
survival casts shadows over love
the game ain't the same through the veins like a drug
most of us that remain may be going insane from the hunger pains,
holocaust strains, nothin to nourish polypeptide chained organic multicell organisms
inshallah seek solutions to destroy a system of rich imitated
just sayin we made it is sick
a truth famine, beggars choosin the bliss
in these last days i examine these culture pathways
tracks blaze through destruction of future consumption

I appreciate you checkin this out.


Even The Best of Us...

It would seem that a person's most memorable attributes become the ones that define them. If the bad you do in life weighs heavier on others than the good, you will be poorly remembered. If the good weighs heavier than the bad you will be lauded in memory. It is up to you to take responsibility to make sure that the evil you contribute to the world is minor in comparison to the good. This makes your evil forgivable, this is your redemption, it is as simple as that.

...How to become "Mad Decent".



I think I can speak for most black males into action flicks when I say that I have been waiting a long ass time for a good martial arts movie starring black characters telling a story that speaks to our history in the diaspora. As a Capoeirista, I am extremely excited to see a movie that features Capoeira in a more historical sense rather than something practiced by Lean On Me rejects and Miami street gangs (Only The Strong).
This looks very dope.

~carry on~


One chapter ends...

...And another begins.

Moving from Charlotte to Greenville, NC~ Two years ago this month, it was my goal to leave NC for good two years from that point but it seems that there is always some new thing that keeps me here or brings me back. I don't need to tell you what happened as you can probably guess. ~Economy>Employment Stranglehold>Job Loss>Present Day~ I wonder sometimes if I am meant to be here for some purpose that has not been revealed to me yet. Or maybe...I am just not pushing the right buttons to get out. I am all about the "Just go" philosophy but it is not always practical. I do not obsessively seek stability, however, it is necessary to find a balance between the two poles...especially when you don't have a safety net.

-These are my thoughts on the day that I am moving. When I post next it will be from a small city in eastern North Carolina.

~Carry on~


4our a.m. Frustration

When you are trying to create your own path there will not be a road to follow and this can be extremely rough. Sometimes you may feel that what you thought was your destiny is not and what you thought was your road is not. You must push on because even what you may see as failure IS a destiny and even in that, if done right, there is triumph to gain. This is from me to me but maybe you could use it too.



Take Back Your Eye

In life there are things you do and things you should not do. The choice between these things is up to you. However, once you have committed to some action being not of you, not right or something that you will not do you enter into a pact with the universe. From this point forward, life will hold you to your word. When you go against this commitment you are punished in some way. You are punished because you made a commitment to yourself and broke that, no matter how valid your reasoning. Sometimes you are punished directly and sometimes the punishment comes in the form of negative feelings that you carry. These negative feelings indirectly create a chain of events that will end with some unhappiness. This too is a form of punishment. Over the last two years I have done many things I had formerly resigned not to do. Call it victim of circumstance or a lapse in self control, either way I have committed small crimes against myself and I have paid for them...some I am still paying for.

Take a moment to review your personal experiences to develop examples for yourself.

I write this in hopes that you can relate because as I write this and you read it I am reclaiming the intent to regain my lost stronghold...my self(the decision to do). I am reclaiming it from circumstances that caused me to lose it, I am reclaiming it from defeats, depressions, recessions, etc. I hope that as you read this you will review what you have lost and resign to reclaim it as well. If you have not lost anything because you haven't gained that ground yet, this is also for you. It is time to make yourself better...a person worthy of being a model to others not because of what you have but because of who you are.



Meesh shot me!

I tagged along with my home girl, Meesh, a few weeks ago while she was taking some shots and while out she snapped a few of me. I always like Meesh's work so I figured I would post them because I think they are mad decent and I think her work is as well. Check her out at:

I had fun...


Available at mafmaddix.com