"X" Marks the spot.

Some people in my life including old friends and family may wonder what I am thinking or why I choose to live my life in the way that I do...making the decisions I do and valuing the things that I do.

There is a clear and concise reason for me.

I am a very conscious observer of my own life and the way the universe affects it.  Over the years I have seen proof that the Universe wants me to stand on a perverbial "X" on the ground.  I do not know what I am waiting for or why I must stand here.  What I do know is that throughout my life both certain achievements and certain misfortunes have been blocked from reaching me by powers beyond my control.  In my life I have felt guided as if by some unseen hand to do certain things and to walk in a certain direction.  I recognize, and have so for many years, that this place I find myself in has been a constant since childhood.  I am here and I wait confidently for whatever is meant to come.  I will not move from this place I am in and I will not allow social, religious, political, cultural, or any other form of pressure move me from where I am.  I will continue to work hard on the tasks the universe sets before me as well as ignoring the ones that are not placed before me.  I feel very confident in this...even if it is delusion, I have chosen mine.

Tektite Illah


What You Know aka have been told.

Amazing video that sparked thought.  Watch.



Just a thought...

I was sitting here laughing my ass off to this Aziz Ansari comedy special and a thought came into my consciousness.  It deals with God or whatever you call it.  I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts on this as well. 

There is a widely accepted idea that one should/does/can love God.  But it just occurred to me that one can never understand the nature of God.  How then would it be possible to love God?  I mean in my thought process, if you do not have a thorough understanding of something wouldn't you just love a figment of your imagination?  Not saying that God is not real...but the "God" that exists in your mind is a figment.  I mean nobody is walking around talking about how much they love Dark Matter. 

It would seem that the greatest thing a person can know in life is themself and the greatest thing you can love is yourself.  That is something I don't think most of us truly achieve.


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Unconscous Conspiracy

I used to believe in one conspiracy or another.  Illuminati, Government, "The Man", Religion, etc.  Now I believe in something I call the "Unconscious Conspiracy".  This is something that I think is far greater and much more realistic than any one conspiracy. I think that everyone is involved in the destruction of humanity.  I believe that humans are inevitably destructive because destruction is an intregal part of life, without which there is no creation. I now think that everyone either thinks they know the answer and is somehow wrong, they don't know and don't care, or they seek destruction.  I think that that pretty much covers everyone who has ever existed.  I think some of us form secret societies and some of us rally in public for causes we deem worthy.  Some of us eat meat and some veggies but we are all engrossed in destructive acts that also breed a certain progressiveness. Maybe what we are progressing towards is something that we would wish we were not but progress takes no sides.



Some things to look at in the mirror.

Think back on the true friends you have.  How many of them "offered" friendship and how many just evolved into it?  I find that people generally do not expect their own future.  By this I mean that those who offer friendship are usually seeking something else while the people who simply evolve into your friend did not see it coming.

I am very mindful when I meet a new person but even I do not often expect the buds that will one day become a great friendship.  Some of the best friends I have began in an unlikely place.  These friendships usually began with people who cared as little about making a new friend as I did.  When I look back on the birth with a now old friend, we often remark on how random our friendship is...or the odd circumstances that initiated it.

The dirty dirty...

I believe that relationships are reactive...COMPLETELY REACTIVE.
-This means that a relationship whether friendship or otherwise is not something that can elude you.  People are in no short supply...and being that we live in a world of general free will (when it comes to relationships) if you find it hard to make friends or find it hard to meet a good man/woman, that is mostly your own fault.  People are as varied as the stars in the sky and just as similar.  They are there and, like everything in the universe, they are attracted to what compels them.  "Water seeks it's own level"

In short:
-don't trust people who try to sell you friendship.
-your friends are and will remain a reflection of you.


DJ Premier- one of the best to ever do it.

This is the second time I have told yall about this Blogsite. True thoroughbred shit. I had to repost this because it is such an amazing collection of jewels from the legendary DJ Premier and the jewels that helped him build his amazing catalog. I highly suggest all readers check out SOMETHING so you can either re-experience or learn about this Hip Hop ICON.

Click the picture to travel to this blog.
Shout to Etalon for the hard historical work. 

~Hallah @ Etalon,  He has everything but my album.


Sideline Mentality

Some women out there find themselves in a reoccuring predicament...They wonder to themselves and others why they meet so many guys that are "taken"  or why the only guys that hit on them are guys who are already involved.  Well, I was thinking about it and I wanted to spit my opinion about it. 
 *Disclaimer: I may offend someone and you may disagree but that's life.*

I honestly think that some women out there have a sideline mentality.  Maybe it comes from a skewed sense of self in which they feel validated by something that actually only diminishes their sense of self.  Kind of like a person who mistakes sex for love.  They mistake the subtle lust of a taken man for the true want.  They usually discover that 1 of 2 things happens: either they get ran through and that's the end of story or they somehow overthrow his primary interest and carry on an unfulfilled and, most of the time, short lived love affair.  I am not suggesting that there are not exceptions to this...but yea, you know the deal.  I am aware that many young women may disagree on my point that the love affair is unfulfillable but I would ask what the opinions are like when these women are 40 and on CBS complaining b/c they still aren't married and have no prospects.  Well maybe, like many young men, the time and energy was spent in the wrong places...
I say this because I've recognized that there are 2 types of women and they conduct themselves in 2 entirely different manners and get 2 different results from guys.  I wonder why that is? (sarcasm)

Oh well, carry on.  Continue doing you...continue sabotaging good relationships because your idea of love and desire is somewhat faulty and/or immature. 



Why Hip Hop is Losing

As a Hip Hop artist I feel that I am entrenched within the culture and movement of the musical genre called Hip Hop.  There are many reasons noted that our music is dying.  Many blame the trash commercial artists who are doing what they do to make hip pop albums and get paid but I would like to turn the blame elsewhere.  

The artist is never responsible for creating a movement just like the prophet is not responsible for the religion.  In both cases both prophet and artist simply reveal something to the world.  It is the followers...those that love what has been brought who stand behind this and mount a flag and say "THIS IS OURS".  

With this being truth, how can you blame an artist or blame people who are NOT a part of the culture for destroying it?  No, you can't.  You must blame those who subscribe to it...they are the ones who falter in hard times or change belief or tastes after a while.

So what is going on in Hip Hop?  Hip Hop bred a generation and what has happened to it?  There are several types of Hip hop listeners: 

-The late 30's early 40's Nostalgia listener: These listeners talk about how dope things were "back in the day"  but what they are really lamenting is their childhood.  These people do not live a similar lifestyle and in fact most often, outside of old school hip hop they listen to little or no new Hip Hop.  These people dismiss it without even listening or supporting.

-The "In style" listener:  These people tend to be anywhere from 26 on up.  They used to listen to hip hop but their style and taste has simply changed.  Hip Hop is not cool to listen to anymore so they listen to other genre's of music.  They like to self identify with hip hop and claim a love however, upon closer inspection, they too keep it restricted to the nostalgic music of their younger years.

-New listeners:  26 and younger who are growing up with the current artists but have much love and respect for the old as well.  These people are in the minority of their age groups and so while they fully support Hip Hop, they are not enough to keep it afloat.

-Fan listeners:  This is an interesting group of people.  In my experience, this group is made up of mostly suburban white kids who are not hip hop lovers.  They are lovers of some other style of music, however they have 2 or 3 current artists that they are into.  They, like everyone else, have respect for the old stuff they grew up on or were told was "classic material". This group is important to cash in on if you are an artist because they support whomever they like to the fullest.  

-Creator/Listeners:  This crowd is self explanatory.  This group consists of people who love the music so much they cannot resist but participate, even if only a temporary hobby.  With the advent of technology and the ease of sharing music, they come off as actual lifestyle artists but they are more so "weekend warriors".  Their love for the culture is deep however their role also serves to dilute the game and confuse the general listener.  The general listener is bombarded with this type via myspace etc and makes the determination that Hip Hop artists are all wak now.  This is not the case...serious artists are on a different echelon and should be understood as such.  There was a time when I was just toying around with the notion of writing and rapping.  I had enough respect to keep it at hobby level.  I did not do shows nor produce public material until I had made the conscious decision that this was to be my life.  Given that piece of history I feel very justified (even if mistakingly) to say to these types "fall back with that hobby rap."

With a crowd like this it is not a wonder to me that the artform I love so much is diminishing and struggling to breath.  I, like my peers in this game refuse to die...because we love it.  For many of us it is how we communicate and express ourselves so, like speech, we cannot leave it alone.

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