-"I don't mean to be negative but...[insert negative comment]"
As many of you probably have, I often wonder why people make these type of contradictory statements. Statements like these seem to be engrained in the culture and they are there for the purpose of making allowances for lack of personal integrity. Let me explain how I think this works:
-A person has ideas of what is right and acceptable.
-A person has ideas of what they want to do/say.
-A person often finds that what they want to do/say is not congruent to what is right and acceptable to them.
Now there is a dilemma...b/c the desire to do the right thing is in minority to the desire to do what one wants EVEN THOUGH the guilt associated with not doing the right thing is far greater
The general solution to this is to, as I call it, "speak right and walk left."
-A person says "No disrespect" in order to let all within earshot know that no disrespect is the right and acceptable thing to do. In a way it is the setting of a character buffer for the wrong thing they are about to do.
-A person then adds "but" which is the transition between what they should do and what they will do.
-Here is where the disrespectful comment or action is taken...the road most traveled.
-A person feels absolved of having to actually do the right thing b/c they have let everyone know that they know what they should do. People don't notice if you really do the right thing...just that you know it. you can get by on that. ie: you learn math in school only to use a calculator/computer for all of your mathematical needs. *good enough
I'm not on some monk stuff where I wouldn't do something wrong and I definitely have no problems saying something disrespectful. I just feel like people should be straight up. If I'm gonna do you dirty I'm not gonna preface it with a fake ass statement. That shows weakness and lack of confidence in your actions. Tighten Up.