Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

5.7.10

On the Threshold of Eternity


On the Threshold of Eternity


(final moments) "A dusty road dissects endless fields of wheat flanked by distant trees. A black bird, startled by the rattling sound of an old paint box, darts into the sky and disappears out of sight. Tall grass and wild flowers sway in the warm breeze that penetrates the bright sunlight of a summer day in the French countryside. The sky is punctuated with wispy clouds that resemble floating brush strokes on a pale blue canvas. At his favorite painting site, Vincent van Gogh quietly sits before a partially finished canvas, dipping and stirring his brush into a rich palette of oils. Today appears not unlike any other day; the morning walk to the fields, painting the landscape before lunch and later capturing the warm afternoon light. However, on this day, Vincent Van Gogh would paint for the last time.

"What lives in art and is eternally living, is first of all the painter, and then the painting."- Van Gogh

It is apparently quite common for writers, musicians, artists, scientists, performers, poets, and other creative talents to suffer from some sort of bipolar disorder and it has even been attributed to their creativity. The natural desire for success and the accompanying plethora of ideas during the state of mania and hypomania have been linked directly to being creative. Some people who suffer from bipolar disorder have mixed states, where they feel depressed and 'blue' but unlike clinical depression one in a mixed state may still feel 'always high'. It is one of the signature characteristics of bipolar disorder. They may have creative energy, racing thoughts, but experience a constant negative feeling as well.

6.5.10

Sum Shit of Life

There are points in it.
These that apply pressure
to numb the heart and stimulate the mind
constantly redefining your freedom
but there are never answers here
no answers...
no solutions on this soluble surface
of solitude and floating minds
tethered down together where emotions combine.
Would it be cowardice or courage to want out?
I find myself looking for an escape from my mindstate, my physical
then awake to a situation that seems much more critical.

-HallaH

13.11.09

Ok I can account for my time lost.

I've gone through a lot in the period during my hiatus...before and after...

I said I would account for my time lapse so hear it is.

Before my lapse as I had mentioned...I lost my job and ended up having to move to Greenville as a result.  Shit has been mad tough here but through this experience I have been able to focus on things and see life more clear.  I went through a lot of personal hardships that only helped me to see the urgency in hunting my own personal victory again...renewing my spirit.

So in my hiatus I created a new website


(pic courtesy of Dread Mighty Sine at the Professional Amateur)

I have my album for sale up there...also some other artist website things so go to it...visit...support good hip hop. Do it for your kids lol.

I also obviously pressed up my album and got that out on the market.
  
(album design by Marcus Kiser)

I also jumped into gear on the social networking thing...trying to delve into that pond to make connections and such so get at me on:



I also got back on the horse and started performing again...it felt good to be on stage rocking the crowd again...Ive learned a lot over the years and I see where some things I have picked up can be put to use.  I come back stronger!

(photo by Meesh)

But most importantly, I remembered what was important to me...what was holding me back...what was no good for me..every so often you need to renew your mind...body and relinquish the old bonds you have carried from point A to B.  I got rid of rusty fuel tanks and strapped on new boosters...

-To my  future...and to yours.

28.5.09

Shadows

An introduction:
A few years ago I met a photographer named Adachi and as we began to get to know each other and grow close, she taught me about photography. Nothing extensive, just a few basic ideas. But more importantly, she sparked an interest in me that had always been there but never had a platform to jump from. She is one of those people you encounter that helps to bring forth change in your life. Since meeting her I have met so many photographers, all very talented. I have watched and participated in their work (mostly watched and gave back seat driver opinions). I finally convinced one to let me borrow her camera so I could play photographer. I have been pretty stressed lately with life and the recent continual setbacks and I tend to need extensive creative outlets to keep myself out of depression nahmean? Let me give a shout to my homie Moire Flux for lending me her camera an all for this project. I don't consider myself a photographer just like I don't consider some random muhfucka rhymin an emcee or some cat doin a windmill a bboy. I just wanted to express myself in a new way...

I'm going to make a few posts to show my work. I hope that the ideas and feelings I envisioned are conveyed accurately. This is just a preview of more to come...an introduction if you will. Enjoy and peace.
(click to see full size)


Available at mafmaddix.com